"Grihe thako vane thako ha gauranga bole dako". Now you are in grhastha ashram. If you are in vanaprastha asram, sannyas asram, vana means forest, if you are doing something ha gauranga, means you are crying, ha means crying. If you have some tears in your eyes, you melt sometime for Supreme, then your life is successfull. If we are living like that.

I am tellling my experience of life, I was in grhastha ashram before. And I learnt my spiritual life when I was in grhastha asram. Because at that time I had full time to go look for sadhu-sanga. I had full time for listening, for reading for serving sadhus and vaisnavas because grhastha means you have to serve. If you cannot serve with your hands to sadhus and vaisnava, then you are not grhastha. If ou cannot serve your earnig, you are getting some money from business and if you are not using part of that money in the service of Krsna and in the service of sadhus and vaisnavas, that is not perfect way for earning, for that is not usefull. For you have to give part of that earnig to Krsna and the sadhus, vaisnavas. Like this I am serving that money to vaisnavas to Krsna and sadhus. That time many opposite feeling, means maybe sometime my idea nobody is accepting, even the wife is not accepting, children are not accepting, family members do not like my idea, then I had to adjust with their ideas. Because the grhastha asram means adjustment. If you have adjustment of life then you have fine/found grhastha asram. You have to listen to everyone what they want, you have to realize, you have to see the difficulties of others. And you don’t mind if somebody is telling strong words for you. Then your grhastha asram is succesfull. This is a sadhana, period of sadhana. Because by this sadhana you will practice to become humble and you have to listen everyone. It is not necessary that everything is favourable in grhastha asram. Maybe your husband, or your wife is not favourable to you, and after that if somebody is adjusting with that, that is a very heavy sadhana, adjustment in oppisite feeling is a very big achievement. And if you are really succesful in grhastha asram, by serving to all of your family without doing any divorce, that is western culture, because we are vaisnavas we cannot do this. Vaisnava means to serve, not to detach, make detachment from the family, you have to serve. But if you can do this, you will be succesful grhastha. When you are succesfull? When you are humble. When you have no false ego. You have respect for others, respect for your husband, respect for elders, then by this respect you will understand how to give respect to others. This is like here, when you read phisics or chemistry the first you read the theory and after that you go for to do practical things, in physics lab or chemistry lab. This is like a practical room that we are successful or not. And of somebody is succesful in this behaviour to serve all his family, he can serve the full society. If he has failed to serve others then he is failed, because he don’t know how to serve. So remember if the chances are favourable, all family members are listening each other, that is Krsna’s mercy. And if husband and wife have misunderstanding and no one opinion, they have no one point for decisions, they have separate decisions, separate ideas, that is also Krsna’ mercy. Why? Because you are practicing to become more strong. You do not have to lieve your circumstances, don’t leave that ciscumstances, that is the more special mercy, you have to do more work in this material world So Krsna is making you more strong to listen to others, and solve the problems. When you can solve the problems in your family, softly, lovingly, then you can solve the problems of others, all of the others, all the world.

I remember the story of my grandfather and grandmother. They married when they were young. They were king, my grandfather was king and his father marriedfor expansion of the family so they married in a young age. In India very early marriage, my grandmother 12-13, and my grandfather is 15-16 like this. My grandfather from childhood is worshipping Radha and Krsna. And he was doing service with his own hand, he all day was engaged to serve the deities. And when he married my grandmother, then he said, please you are my wife now, before I had not thinking for marriage, but now we are entering this asram, so I need your help. We are not making grhastha asram for sense gratification. I need wife who can help me. Wife means one who can help the husband in his progress and husband means who can take care for his family and the wife. We are the life partners, so please help me. My grandmother asked:

– What do you want from me?

– Just I want, that I have fallen in love with Radha and Krsna, you also serve with me. And I am chanting one lakh of harinama, mahamantra daily. If you help me in chanting, that is very nice.

– Look, that is good!

What happened? Five years whole night they were chanting. My grandmother is sitting here and grandmother is sitting there. And bedroom, bed is untouched. Before my grandfather was chanting one lakh, after marriage he started chanting 2 lakh, 3 lakh, because there is competition for chanting. They had competition for chanting. Because my grandmother said Look, I chant this, how much you chant? They had competition for chanting, you see, sadhu-sangha, in grhastha family sadhu-sanga.

And they are serving, my grandmother took service of stiching the clothes of deities. So she had desire to purchase the best clothes, gorgious clothes with the gold and silver. And she purchased and she makes one dress with 5-6 people to help and she makes everyday a new dress for the Deity. She had this service to stiching for the dress and making garlands for Deities. I had seen with my own eyes, at the age of 75 she is doing everyday. From married life she is starting, at the death time she was doing that. And the grandfather was serving with the perfumes. The indian perfume is like the oil. Costliest perfume he served for Krsna on the clothes and he took all perfume like a massage oil. So he put all on face and clothes. In old age he had some problems with the eyesight so he put all perfume and oil on the clothes. Clothes were very dirty. Then my grandmother asked: Why you put so much oil on new clothes? Why you are putting so much oil? And clothes become dirty. Only one time I can wear this clothes on Krsna , again I have to put new clothes. This is very costly!

Then my grandfather said:
– Why you bother? I am giving you chance to make new clothes daily because I have to rub – the cloth is dirty and you are making new clothes. Because I need to serve for my service. my service is to perfume a flavour, and I do my service and you are doing your service, so we are both are in the mood of service!

Always, they were totally involved. I have seen my grandmother and grandfather also. I have learnt many thing from them. They are 6 months in Vrndavan and 6 months living in Munghir. Then if they come to Vrndavan, and we were child like this, they took us to for the sadhu-sanga. You dont understand what is going on but the vibration, now we feel, now I feel that vibration, unconciously we understand, now I understand what they were telling. How they are divine persons. So this is very nice that we are giving sadhusanga to our children. And if we behave like this, with loving, I have never seen they are fighting. My grandperents they always wanted to serve for others. If they are fighting, not for themsleves, they are fighting for Krsna, for the service. So living in grhastha asram, they are always in mood for chanting, praying and worshiping to his sweet couple.

Lecture given: 21.05.2001 in Nandafalva, Hungary